Can we talk about something for a minute because we’re friends?
Entrepreneurship is hard. It’s also lonely. When did we decide that we had to try to do it all, by ourselves? Why are we more ashamed to talk about stuff like loneliness when it’s affecting a really good portion of the female entrepreneurship circle? I’ll tell you my theory. Because we’re afraid to admit we don’t have it all together. That maybe if we admit it to our audience, especially if we’re selling something, they won’t buy from us anymore. If we don’t look like we have all the answers and we’re always the expert people won’t listen to us anymore and our businesses will go to the crapper.
Have you ever felt like that? I spent months feeling like this recently when I was going through some grief after my grandma passed. I was dealing with something so difficult while also trying to run my businesses and it was really hard to talk about. It was so much easier to hide behind my computer and pretend that everything was fine than to actually connect with real, live humans and share the burden. Do you do that? Feel like you have to take it on alone? Friend, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to do it anymore. Gone are the days where being perfect, the perception of perfect and having it all together (or should be). You don’t have to have all the answers, look a certain way, make a certain amount of money, have a degree, wear a certain size or be able to do the floss like your kids can. You don’t have it all together and that’s ok. In fact, it’s better than ok it’s amazing! Because guess what? I don’t either and now that I know you don’t too I can relate to you more. I can feel better about my messy house and top knot when I don’t have to compare it to your spotless kitchen and washed hair.
The point is, we’re all just trying to do the best we can for ourselves and we get in our own way when we covet what others are doing and then beating ourselves up for not doing the same thing. The shame spiral sets in, we stop talking to people (in person or online) for fear we might be “found out” that we aren’t perfect and then the loneliness sets in.
You aren’t perfect. I’m not perfect and that’s ok. We don’t have to be. I might even want to buy what you’re selling if you share a little bit more about that imperfection with me more because I can relate to you more. Just make sure you pump the breaks on oversharing. Brene Brown says, “Oversharing is not vulnerability. In fact, it often results in disconnection, distrust, and disengagement.”
So, the next time you start to feel lonely and disconnected you need to reach out to your trusted people. You know who they are. We aren’t meant to do life alone and if you’re a businesswoman, you especially aren’t meant to do business alone!